Previously
Prologue
I briefly considered going to a local store and opening up all the packaged beard trimmers and trying them, or spending hundreds of dollars in the name of science for my future hypothetical readers, but in the end I only have one beard to test on.
Since it was unlikely I would be able to actually see a selection of trimmers on display and hold them — let alone use them — I turned to the web for answers.
And as with any commercial query, I got mostly seo garbage back. But can we talk for a minute how difficult web search has become due to the bizarre economics of search and advertising on the web?
No, there’s no time, we have to move on.
ConsumerSearch recommended that other people recommended a Wahl Lithium Ion thing. So an Amazon click and a day later I was trimming my now absurdly long and unkept beard.
Review
The first thing I noted about the Wahl 9876-2001 Lithium Ion All-In-One Trimmer with Rotating Head was just how awful the packaging was.
After opening the terrible packaging, the second thing I noticed was that there are a lot of plastic things that come with this.
A lot of plastic things.
The Good
The namesake lithium-ion battery comes charged, and after a week of use it’s still charged.
The unit felt powerful compared to my now useless former trimmer, and made very quick work of my increasingly terrifying and out of control beard.
Although I was annoyed at the numerous plastic guards and accessories, having a number of single length accessories is actually much better than the previous “sliding” multi-length guards I had used. With a clip on single position guard, there’s no possibility it will shift in position while shaving and you’ll end up with uneven crazy beard.
There’s a satisfying, though not overly loud, whirring sound in operation.
The Bad
All those accessories come with a plastic house for them to live in, which is supposed to look like this:
Which in the real world ends up looking more like this:
Terrible design: no visual cues as to what goes where, nothing fits or clicks in a satisfying manner, and who has the space for this crap in their bathroom anyway? I’m sure like everyone else who owns this, I threw it all in a dob kit bag.
The chrome looks lame and dirties easily: not the right material for a bathroom accessory.
The grip isn’t satisfying or secure, it feels slick.
Verdict
A significant improvement to my last broken shaver.
Everything fits smoothly together, and it’s powerful and functional.
While functional, it fails to impress. Pressing it against my face seems like a chore, rather than a delight. Better materials, a more functional grip, and more delightful appearance would have been nice.
For $39.99, I now look less terrible, but I still have to shove a slightly unpleasant object into my face in the mornings.
Maybe I should just use a pair of scissors.
Wahl 9876-2001 Lithium Ion All-In-One Trimmer with Rotating Head, $39.99 on Amazon
★★ / ★★★★★
Two stars out of five.